June 2010
I don’t like this! There are so many of my tumblr posts in my newsfeed. It’s making me feel bad about posting so much on tumblr and it’s making me realize that it’s true what my boyfriend says about me having a tumblr addiction.
AHHH
AHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHH
Dear ________,
You are a huge DOUCHEBAG. I hope this comes up on your facebook feed and you see how much of a douchebag I think you are. Like seriously. The amount of douchebaggery you hold within you is unfathomable, you douchey douchebag.
I’m totally going to totally yell at you when I see your grody little face, you wiener.
You’re such a freaking douchebag.
-Torie
P.S. YOU’RE A DOUCHEBAG!
P.P.S. You have a unibrow and I hate you.
May 2010
I feel like importing tumblr posts to my facebook newsfeed is a bad idea for the following reasons: 1) I just outed myself on tumblr that I do, indeed, have a facebook. Uh. Sorry. I don’t add strangers, homies. 2) Some of my facebook friends who have tumblr are tools (not all of them, mind you) and I might/will probably become one of those tools that posts their lame tumblr shiet all over facebook. 3) I post so much that it’ll swarm my, and other people’s, feed. 4) A lot of my facebook friends will find my tumblr. 5) A lot of people will find my formspring from my tumblr and spam it like Marcel did (Now that I said that, I feel like it’s going to happen now)
Reasons why I should do it: 1) I don’t care about spamming everyone’s feed. They’re lucky that I’m spamming it with AWESOMENESS. 2) My tumblr is better than all of theirs by a bajillion because my tumblr is about ME! and I’m GLORIOUS! 3) I’m already a tool, so it doesn’t really matter.
LOVE ME!
i fell asleep on my notes while writing an essay & now i have inky, backwards words smudged all upside my forehead. nice. & i had a trippy dream. i’ll try to remember most of it, but it was really long:
i was driving in an underground tunnel and it was all dark and flashy like space mountain and this little paper cat slips into my car through the passenger window and sits there all chill then becomes a real cat and tells me it’s name is boss man. and the words BOSS MAN pop up next to it in flashing lights. after a while it starts to piss me off because it’s getting hair all over my car seats and it’s smoking and making smoke rings and listening to am radio shows so i grab it and throw it out and it screams and hits a wall or w/e and dies. then it twitches and becomes undead and suddenly there’s a zombie apocalypse flash mob of people and animals. i start freaking out and running them all over and body parts and fur are flying errrwuurr. there’s freaky strobe lighting so everything is flashing all crazy and seizure inducing and instead of blood & guts there’s cigarettes and fire coming out of the dead zombie bodies.
i come out of the tunnel and now there’s some tinytinytiiinybirds sitting in my pocket telling me i need to feed them beef so they can grow up big and strong and find the zombie antidote. o, ok i’m down to help. but this giant bowl of coffee is blocking the way and demanding that it wants to date my car and my car is all like ew i dun think so. so the coffee gets mad and spills all over the place then some other stuff happens, i forget blahblah skip to next part of dream.
i get to some pinkyflowerygirly castle and the coach lady from glee is there on this ridic hideous ugly giant ostrich that has glittery rainbow scale feathers and charms and shit dangling off of it. and it’s dressed like this one ugly pic i saw of susie bubble before i fell asleep and it even has ugly teeth like her. she tells me i have to ride it and go collect as much treasure as possible. i complain that it’s an ugly ass bird & that i don’t like glee anymore. but jesus comes out with all these piercings and tatts and wooden beads in his beard & tells me i have to ride it or else he’ll to stab me with his hook, like the one capt. hook from peter pan has. except his is studded with diamonds and ring pops. idk why i’d dream jesus to be like that, i’m pretty sure that’s offensive or something. anyways more stuff happens, but there’s too much stuff that went on so i don’t really remember anymore. it’s kind of embarrassing how stupid my dreams are….
i’m going to go wash my forehead now.
Dear __________,
I’ve been waiting for you for four hours hoping that you’d wake up, realize you were stupid, and come knocking on my door. It’s five AM. You suck.
You are the baby in the basket and I’m the angry vending machines.
-Torie
